I'd Like to Muggle Her Golden Snitch

I figure that, with a long absence from the typewriter, a quality post is due. With that in mind, I'm afraid you'll have to wait as I type my normal drivel.

As the Harry Potter hype has started to die down, there is no shortage of copies of the final book. I don't think there ever was, as I remember that most friends of mine who got their copy on the very first day (actually, only three or so people qualify for this distinction) either noted that they pre-ordered the book when they didn't have to or just picked up a copy with no hassle. I remember I was on a vacation in Scotland when the last book came out, and there were copies everywhere - not just at bookstores or general stores. In fact, I'll bet you could probably pick one up at McDonald's.

Quick side note - the McDonald's in Scotland was the first and only time I tried a Big Mac. It was good enough, but I haven't gotten around to destroying my body in such a way again. I figured eating at a McDonald's was permissible in Scotland, since it's such a Scottish name.

Anyway, there are still various piles of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows everywhere. There are even copies at the local Kroger supermarket. There, I noticed a table of books in a store which I consider notorious for poor placement of products. Every time I go there, I end up getting items from only two ends of the store, having to travel the length of the store for some milk to go with my cereal, for example. I'm not complaining, only suggesting that it may be smarter to move greeting cards and cookware to the end of the store, rather than smack in the middle. With this seeming randomness now stated, perhaps you can understand why I was only very mildly puzzled when I saw that they had put the popular books next to the condoms and sexual lubricants.

I love irony, especially when it can be found in public settings like your local neighborhood supermarket. Here's a book for kids located right beside one of the most effective means of preventing kids from coming into existence. I know many would argue against my claim that Harry Potter is for kids, but I do feel that it is still children's literature, albeit hugely accessible and most likely a great series of books (I have never read any of the books. But then again, there are a lot of books that I've never gotten around to reading.) I also realize that there are other uses for condoms, such as preventing the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases and emergency backups for a balloon-less New Year's Eve party. But let me have my irony, will you?

I wonder how many people nerds like to engage in Harry Potter-based sexual fantasies. If this sounds like you, I am sad to say I just went to get my groceries today and they were out of books. Perhaps they had just moved them, but it's very possible that they've been moved out of the store. But if anyone's interested in hot, passionate sex condoms, you should talk to me. I know where they are.