Follow the Wiki Rabbit

So today is a case study in just how Wikipedia is like an addictive drug for intelligent people. Much like cocaine, only Al Pacino has not yet starred in a bloody, profanity-laced film highlighting the dangerous business of Wikipedia trafficking.

Today's journey started when I decided to use Google Documents to make my blog posts, as editing is easier. To my pleasant surprise, I found that there is a built-in word count tool, and I can publish directly to my blog. (What's that? A Google application compatible with a Google-based blog? What will they think of next?) Anyway, much like Microsoft Word, Google Documents lists the Readability and Grade Level. Alas, they also have a link to an explanation of each number, found at - you guessed it - Wikipedia.

So the first stop on our list is the page for "Flesch-Kincaid Readability Test." There, we can see the equations used to calculate both the readability and the grade level. They're remarkably simple equations, and it's rather disillusioning to see them presented as such. When I was younger, the grade level presented by Microsoft Word was probably my main method of determining my intelligence. To write at a reading level below 12.0 was truly unacceptable for me, even if I was only in 10th grade at the time. Anyway, the method for determining the level seemed remarkably esoteric, and I had just figured that the paperclip took the time to read every word and form a detailed opinion.

What's this? A side note? One of the lowest recorded reading levels is that of Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham, which fetches a -1.3. Of course, there's a link to the "Green Eggs and Ham" page, which yields more sweet, sweet knowledge. There's a rumor that the book came about as a result of a bet between Seuss and his publisher that Seuss could not write a book using only fifty words. Seuss succeeded, and 98% of them were merely one syllable.

One footnote to the article proceeded to explain that in September, a District Court judge received an egg in the mail from an older Jewish prisoner complaining of his non-kosher diet. The judge evoked the storyin his ruling, saying, "I do not like eggs in the file. I do not like them in any style." Apparently the man "is serving 10 to 20 years for sexually assaulting a 7-year-old girl. His lawsuit was filed in August 2006 and is scheduled for trial in June 2008. 'We've told him, if you don't like the eggs, don't eat them,' said Assistant Attorney General Andrew Livernois, who also received an egg in the mail. 'That's not good enough for him.'"

Five minutes of random Internet meandering later, I was looking at thong panties King Tut's newly displayed face. You see, with Wikipedia, my rate of learning trivial information triples. So if you're a smart person and don't know all there is to know about the Peloponnesian War or Foghat's Discography, then I suggest you say hello to my little friend.