A Match Made in Heaven
Now, it's probably a bad idea to admit to any degree of pyromania whatsoever, but especially so in such a public way. If there's any sort of half-crazed jackass with a Zippo and gasoline who's up for torching anything around here, I'd hate for the Cops to try pinning it on me. But I do have a strange fascination for lighting up matches for seemingly no reason at all.
When you're a kid, you're always told not to play with matches. You could shoot your eye out, after all. Er, you could burn the house down. Point is, it's in the same realm as trying on women's clothing - the realm of the forbidden. And if you've ever played with matches as a kid, the thrill is that of merely doing something you're not supposed to be doing. Though I'm not sure how the thrill of trying on high heels would measure up.
Well, personally, I never did any of that shit. I was too straight-laced to disobey the rules. Instead, I had to wait to start thinking philosophically before matches really became fun for me. Just try thinking about the scenario for a second. Here you are with virtually nothing; matches are free for the taking at fine drinking establishments across the country. And with one skillful, yet simple hand motion, you've got instant fire. The same shit that cavemen had to master. In a split second, you've imposed a remarkable change with no effort whatsoever.
As you probably know, I've been thinking a lot about politics with the upcoming election at the end of the year. While the candidates are still duking it out, I figured I'd try to figure out where I stand ideologically speaking. So I Googled political quizzes, and here's one of the results. Further investigation of the quiz site reveals that I'm in the same quadrant as Nelson Mandela, Beethoven, Gandhi, and the Dalai Lama. Now that's good company to have. If you've ever heard the 9th symphony, you know what I'm talking about.
Then I found this map of where the 2008 candidates lie on the same plane, based on their stated platforms. While I'm in the libertarian left, everyone else is in the authoritarian right. Note that I'm not counting Kucinich or Gravel as having a snowball's chance in hell of getting elected.
Now I'm hardly saying that everyone should be on my side, but it's sort of disheartening to see that everyone else is really all in the same category: the one directly opposite mine. Clinton and Obama, both of whom strike fear in the hearts of Republicans, are still on their side of the playing field, as far as the whole of Western Democracy is concerned. What this map truly reveals is that if there is this much heated contention amongst the candidates over such a narrow band of the 2-D spectrum, then what sort of effort would it take to elect an American president who's on my side - or even someone who's right in the middle, one of those beautiful, perfect-minded people who are less plentiful than unicorns these days?
If you haven't figured out the connection yet, politics is sort of like the antithesis of the matches I keep lighting up. This election won't be over until November, and even then, the President-elect won't take office until January. All that time time waiting for either no change, or what seems to my eyes to be not enough change. This lethargic beast of politics is so perfectly contrasted with a crack and sizzle of a kitchen match. As the puff of smoke vanishes, I can extinguish the young, dynamic flame with one puff of air, as if to say, "that wasn't so hard now, was it?"
I could go on, wishing that a change was so simple. I could go on wasting my time thinking about politics. I could go on lighting matches here in the dark. But instead, it's time to take off this women's clothing so I can go to bed.
When you're a kid, you're always told not to play with matches. You could shoot your eye out, after all. Er, you could burn the house down. Point is, it's in the same realm as trying on women's clothing - the realm of the forbidden. And if you've ever played with matches as a kid, the thrill is that of merely doing something you're not supposed to be doing. Though I'm not sure how the thrill of trying on high heels would measure up.
Well, personally, I never did any of that shit. I was too straight-laced to disobey the rules. Instead, I had to wait to start thinking philosophically before matches really became fun for me. Just try thinking about the scenario for a second. Here you are with virtually nothing; matches are free for the taking at fine drinking establishments across the country. And with one skillful, yet simple hand motion, you've got instant fire. The same shit that cavemen had to master. In a split second, you've imposed a remarkable change with no effort whatsoever.
As you probably know, I've been thinking a lot about politics with the upcoming election at the end of the year. While the candidates are still duking it out, I figured I'd try to figure out where I stand ideologically speaking. So I Googled political quizzes, and here's one of the results. Further investigation of the quiz site reveals that I'm in the same quadrant as Nelson Mandela, Beethoven, Gandhi, and the Dalai Lama. Now that's good company to have. If you've ever heard the 9th symphony, you know what I'm talking about.
Then I found this map of where the 2008 candidates lie on the same plane, based on their stated platforms. While I'm in the libertarian left, everyone else is in the authoritarian right. Note that I'm not counting Kucinich or Gravel as having a snowball's chance in hell of getting elected.
Now I'm hardly saying that everyone should be on my side, but it's sort of disheartening to see that everyone else is really all in the same category: the one directly opposite mine. Clinton and Obama, both of whom strike fear in the hearts of Republicans, are still on their side of the playing field, as far as the whole of Western Democracy is concerned. What this map truly reveals is that if there is this much heated contention amongst the candidates over such a narrow band of the 2-D spectrum, then what sort of effort would it take to elect an American president who's on my side - or even someone who's right in the middle, one of those beautiful, perfect-minded people who are less plentiful than unicorns these days?
If you haven't figured out the connection yet, politics is sort of like the antithesis of the matches I keep lighting up. This election won't be over until November, and even then, the President-elect won't take office until January. All that time time waiting for either no change, or what seems to my eyes to be not enough change. This lethargic beast of politics is so perfectly contrasted with a crack and sizzle of a kitchen match. As the puff of smoke vanishes, I can extinguish the young, dynamic flame with one puff of air, as if to say, "that wasn't so hard now, was it?"
I could go on, wishing that a change was so simple. I could go on wasting my time thinking about politics. I could go on lighting matches here in the dark. But instead, it's time to take off this women's clothing so I can go to bed.
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