Number of the Sheikh

There's no shortage of things I could be talking about right now. I could mention the fact that George W. Bush, self-proclaimed champion of the men and women in uniform, has decided to go ahead and reward one with his favorite gift to give in the whole wide world, a state execution. Or I could be talking about the recent move by the House to make the first apology on behalf of the federal government for slavery. But these stories are both on CNN, and anyone could have heard about them. Instead, I'm going to turn to Slate, the online magazine that I read whenever I need to feel just a little bit more pretentious. There's an article on Slate that gives us an insight as to how the youth of the Middle East are taking their destinies into their own hands. They're doing it the same way we did it in 1985 - by listening to heavy metal.

While really a long advertisement for a new book by Mark Levine, the article does offer some fresh perspective on life as a dissident in the Middle East. Apparently, the overwhelming sentiment in the Middle East is dissatisfaction with authoritarian government. I can imagine that this is pretty widespread. I became friends with one guy from Iran who was fiercely opposed to his own government, with a passion even stronger than my distaste for any neo-conservative elements here in the U.S. (And I am convinced, by the way, that if the Evangelical Christians rise to sufficient levels of governmental power, then we will have become our own evil terrorist state.) He even claimed that all the kids in Iran wear George Bush T-shirts as a blatant bird-flip to the powers that be.

So wearing t-shirts that worship Satan is really not much of a stretch for the youth of the Middle East - or at least Iran - is it? Haha, of course I'm being jocular - I know that not all heavy metal worships Satan. In fact, many music that's assumed to be the devil's music is in fact anything but. For example, the members of Iron Maiden - penners of the hit "Number of the Beast" - are all devout Christians. Then you have the Norwegian Death Metal bands, one of which made necklaces out of the skull fragments of their former lead singer, who shot himself.

But anyway, this is all distracting from the fact that heavy metal is the music of nerds. Especially in the 80's, when Conan the Barbarian and Dungeons & Dragons were especially prevalent. If you don't believe me, then take a look at your average metal fan today. If you can't imagine them in a comic store, then you're not looking hard enough. Personally, I love metal. I don't know most of it, but I do have respect for it. There's an inherent attitude that disregards any criticism of the social outcast status that the music seems to cause (or reflect) in its listeners. True fans of metal care nothing about the outside world's perceptions and take complete ownership of their music.

And that is the spirit that the youth of the Middle East should embrace. It's what made the 60's cool, and it's what's made metal cool. If emo music were cool, it would be what would help make emo music cool. The youth in the Middle East are in a unique position to potentially incite a social revolution through music, and I believe that they should take full advantage of the fact. Just ditch the Bush t-shirts and open up a comic store instead.