tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123807539669941308.post-27103522144348593932008-08-12T09:00:00.002-04:002008-08-12T09:00:01.861-04:002008-08-12T09:00:01.861-04:00During my week spent diligently attending to the needs of video games and baseball message boards, I neglected to write an article for this blog, and now it's only 12 hours until publishing time. Fortunately for me, I was able to turn to my most trusted news source, the BBC, to give me news that you probably won't find anywhere else. And for good reason.<br /><br />In the first instance, we have a bit of advice from an 84 year old man in Nigeria. Quite succinctly put, it's a simple recommendation: <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7547148.stm" target="_blank">don't marry eighty-six women</a>. The former teacher and spiritual leader has admitted that he's superhuman, acknowledging that only God's help has allowed him to "control" his eighty-six wives and "at least" 170 children. I'm speechless. Who could have ever imagined that a self-described religious person could have built his own personal mini-empire on polygamy and massive procreation? <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamentalist_Church_of_Jesus_Christ_of_Latter_Day_Saints" target="_blank">Oh yeah, I knew that sounded familiar</a>.<br /><br />However, I'm much more willing to ignore the case of Mr. Bello Abubakar. First, just look at a picture of the guy - he looks dead tired, and obviously for good reason. Second, there has been no media frenzy regarding a possibly unjust raid on his "compound" the way there was with the Texas FLDS raid in April. Watching the effects of that raid truly made me horrified and ashamed. Mostly because I thought everyone in this country had long since burned <a href="http://messengerandadvocate.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/flds-women-win.jpg" target="_blank">those clothes</a>.<br /><br />But all is not bleak for those who want to save the world by leaving polygamy behind and rallying together to save the planet. Just <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7551125.stm" target="_blank">eat more kangaroos</a>. Or so says Dr. George Wilson, of the Australian Wildlife Services. Meanwhile, minimal research on my part led me to the Food and Agriculture Organization of the U.N., which indicates that in 2002, the United States alone consumed 40 million tons of meat. Granted, that's probably not all beef and mutton. Still, assuming that the average kangaroo might weigh 100 pounds - and not all of that is usable meat, I'd imagine - that would mean we'd need to perhaps slaughter 800 million kangaroos in this country alone to replace our existing red meat. If someone in the U.S. plans on executing this plan, the fact that kangaroos are not native to the States is going to lead to the Australians making a killing in exports. (Pun most definitely intended.)<br /><br />I guess I don't really have any further commentary beyond that it seems a little absurd to start the factory farming of kangaroos. And a simple word count at this point reveals that I'm only barely above four hundred, which makes this a pathetic post from a purely quantitative viewpoint. I could, at this point, begin to believe that I've let down my adoring public. But life is too short (especially if you're a kangaroo nowadays) to think negatively. Instead, I should think happy thoughts and look on all the positives in life. One that immediately jumps to mind is that I don't have eighty-six wives. If I had to devote all my attention to them, what would my poor video games and baseball message boards do without me?Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08432627271396472057noreply@blogger.com0